Introduction:

When we think about asking people to do business with us, it is not always easy, since they may say “no” to our offer. That takes a lot of time to get the yes answer so how do I handle rejections so I can utilize the mastering time ideas that I gave you in blog 12. One of the ideas I suggested was being well prepared before you go to an event where you are networking with business owners that could be your customers.

In Blog 13, I am going to give your ideas about how to be prepared for yeses and no’s so you will be ready for any situation. I personally do not like no’s any more than you do; however, being a business owner means I have to develop resilience and learn to view rejection as a natural part of the sales and networking process. That is the reason I decided to give you and effective way to deal with yourself first and then in blog 14 I will give you more effective objection-handling techniques to address common concerns you may have.

Reframing Rejection: A Natural Part of Success:

I have come to accept that rejection is a natural part of life, and I do not have to be invested in a rejection as though it reflects a personal failure. Now, that does not mean I ignore things that I know I could have done better when I was talking with the person. When the conversation did not go the way I had wanted it to then I may have a conversation with one of my staff to see how I could have improved the interaction. Feedback and sharing our ideas is how we learn about any subject. If I need help then my colleague’s feedback can be helpful. I need to let go of any judgements about myself concerning the conversation. I share with my colleague what happened and how I felt about the interaction. I can reframe a rejection as an opportunity for growth and learning rather than a setback or focusing on being wrong. “Being wrong” can bring up a lot of judgements that none of us need, since both people in the conversation contribute to the outcome of the discussion.

Moving Through the Pain: A Framework for Rejection

In order to move through rejection, you and I must process through the feelings we have about the rejection. Years ago, I studied for four years with Elizabeth Kubler Ross, who was a psychiatrist that wrote the books on Death and Dying. Her five stages of working through death or using it with rejection or any loss has been very helpful.

Here is a short description of how to use her five stages to move through rejection.

1. Denial—let’s say your first response to rejection is how could this person possibly turn me down? This has to be a mistake. How could they possibly not see what I have to offer? Denial is when I focus too much on the other person. I may not be able to do anything about them; however, I can certainly do something about myself.
2. Anger—Next you may move on from being in denial to feeling misunderstood and then move to feel angry. It is not the best thing to do at this point to speak to the person that rejected you, since you need to deal with your anger first. I often write down what I am angry about, which includes my thoughts and feelings, and then I walk away from my paper for an hour or more. When I come back to my writings, I read them again, and then ask myself, what is the next right action for me to take? By then, I have a calmer self, and I am more likely to come up with a reasonable action.
3. Bargaining—In this stage of processing rejection, I can start developing excuses for the reason a person rejected me. They might have a faulty assumption about my offer, or they lack information that could help them understand the reason my idea was rejected. Now, it is not helpful to drive yourself crazy by formulating every idea possible to convince them they need to accept what you offered. Overloading a person with data will not convince them to be your customer. They may have feelings or thought that you do not know about. After giving them some space, you might stop the bargaining in your head and consider questions that might bring understanding to the reasons they rejected your ideas. Approaching them with a request to learn from them what lead to the rejection can be helpful. This is not a time to attempt to sell them again; you are there to learn from them. Remember, for the sake of your future relationship, you may choose to accept their decision and move on.
4. Depression or Sadness—Rejection has many emotions connected to it. You may have already experienced anger and disappointment. You feel sad, possibly embarrassed, confused, hurt or other feelings. Again, it is time to process your feelings and as mentioned before you may decide to go through what happened with a friend or colleague to get feedback from them. It’s important to remember that there were two people in this conversation and after you have looked at the facts and feelings you experienced in the situation then you will either come up with a solution or it is time to let go of the situation and move to another person, that is another opportunity.
5. Acceptance—When I get to the acceptance state, I am back to myself, and I may be able to see what might have been amiss in the situation. It could be that my offer was not something they can do at this time, or it does not fit what they need. There are times in this situation I find an error or mistake (I mistook something). Most importantly, I have learned and grown from this experience. Whatever you learned, you will take the learnings and approach it differently the next time you experience something similar. You may end up with a no or possibly a yes with the next situation.

The best thing is by going through the five stages of grief/loss and handling the situation with respect for yourself and the other person. By going through the five stages, you have built resilience by focusing on your part in the conversation, learning something, and you can certainly do something about what you did. Resilience is built in life by respecting yourself, which you did. You walked away with things you can improve on and things that you will use again when a rejection occurs.

Conclusion:

Rejection is never easy, but it doesn’t have to define you or your journey. By understanding and processing the emotions that come with rejection, you turn it into an opportunity for growth and resilience. Each “no” brings with it a lesson: a chance to improve, refine your approach, or realize it wasn’t the right fit at the time. Resilience isn’t built by avoiding rejection—it’s built by facing it, respecting yourself, and continuing forward with purpose. In Blog 14, I’ll share actionable strategies to handle objections and turn those challenging moments into wins. Until then, remember: every rejection you face brings you one step closer to success.