Introduction

My purpose in writing about pain in my previous blog 11 was due to the fact that I see so many business owners wanting to not look at their painful experiences and learn from them. I encourage you to go back and read my blog 11-Turning Pain into Purpose: How Business Owners Can Transform Mistakes into Growth if you missed it. Blog 12 is going to be about conflict that results from us being visible in the world. It is important for you, as a business owner, to know more about conflict, visibility, and growth.

Understanding the Nature of Conflict

Every business owner encounters moments of conflict—whether with ourselves, our choices, or our interactions with clients and customers. We experience conflict when our clients or customers are not pleased with what we offer or know we need to say to them. Internal conflict can create self-doubt or questioning our choices, and external conflict arises when others challenge or judge you or me. Now, I learned a long time ago that there will be “push and pull” when I choose to be authentic and live my purpose, embracing the courage to be real and true to myself. The key for me is to accept that handling friction is a skill I need to develop in order to appreciate my authenticity and live visibly with other perceptions of me.

The Vulnerability of Visibility

Being vulnerable brings tremendous strength to me, since I am being my authentic self, and accepting who I am. Internal strength comes from vulnerability, and combined with the strength that comes from self-knowledge and honoring who I am, my vulnerability is protected by my inner resilience.

Now, when I am exposed to judgment, which leads to being aware of my vulnerability it is not pleasant. Yes, it can impact my decisions, opinions, and actions if I do not take time to process my feelings and thoughts to determine the best next step. The reality is we cannot run a business without be visible, and we certainly cannot grow our businesses without visibility in our communities.

Conflict as a Catalyst for Growth

What I have learned is I often learn more from the mistakes I make than from the successes I have. I encourage you to see conflict as a potential catalyst for personal growth as a business owner. You have heard me say many times in these blogs to you that when I take the time to write what I feel  and think, I can filter out thoughts that contribute to inner conflict. By processing my feelings, I arrive at a more centered place within myself. In this place, I can consider what I need to do next, since I am focused on my best self.

The Balance of Staying True to Yourself

My “true north” has to be ultimately determined by me after I consider what I think and feel and then the feedback I have heard from another person. I have five values that I live by every day of my life. These values help me mange the friction from differing opinions or expectation of others. I learned that expectations are not something I want to invest in, since expectations lead to resentments. I want to reconcile my personal authenticity with what I need to do for myself, my family and my business as I interact with being a visible person in the public world. My capacity to navigate relationships is based on my strength in setting boundaries. I have set boundaries that protect my energy, allowing me to step back if needed to reflect on others’ statements. I can then return to the conversation to address any differences of opinion with clarity and respect.

Conclusion:

I encourage you to embrace conflict as a part of your personal and professional growth journey. You will learn more about yourself. This will allow you to know how to live your values and truth in each of your interactions with others. I learn by talking about myself and then receiving feedback from others. Remove the word criticism from your vocabulary, and never accept harsh criticism from others. Constructive feedback supports growth, whereas criticism does not.

There are many ways to resolve conflict. The best way I know is to confront myself with my behaviors and actions, and then make sure that both of us involved in the conflict are willing to own our part. By confronting myself I then know how to respectfully confront the other person so we can resolve our differences.