Introduction

Let us look at how exemplary leaders create their support systems. As you probably realize, many people’s relationships are superficial since they are formed on social media. They do not have the emotional connection that is built in person or when you can see each other while you are talking with them on Zoom or other web connections.

I have built a lot of meaningful relationships on Zoom and when we see each other in person the strong connection is there. I have found it takes little time to adjust to being in person. These individuals are true friends since they are the ones that are there for me in good times and bad, who tell me what I need to hear, rather than what I may want to hear. They help me to be the best version of myself, and they are invaluable to me personally and professionally. To be true friends, we both need to be truthful and trustworthy to support each other.

How do you develop these friends and supporters?

Emotional intelligence is essential to building these powerful relationships. Emotional intelligence requires the ability to identify, understand, and manage emotions. This ability will help us understand each other and strengthen our relationships with others.

Here are some simple guidelines that I can think of for developing emotional connection that will help you make more friends and significant supporters.

Build Trust

I build relationships by being open, honest, and emotionally connected in these relationships. I know it is important to build my emotional intelligence by understanding and managing my emotions. I want to encourage open discussion and healthy discussion so our different or similar points of view can be expressed. Once this occurs then it is time to talk about what we will each do to commit to keeping the relationship going.

I do not know about you; however, I have started relationships that I was doing most of the work to keep it going. That is not an emotionally connected relationship. When relationships are emotionally connected then both individuals will take action to connect with each other and support the relationship moving forward.

Rethinking

I need to be open to rethinking what I believe, think or feel about subjects, if I am going to be able to hear the other person’s points of view. Rethinking can be really simple. What I do is when someone presents information that differs from what I believe, I resist the urge to dismiss it. Instead, I encourage myself to listen, and then consider what the person is saying. Being committed to rethinking helps me to emotionally detach for the moment from my beliefs and hear what they are saying. I will often repeat, rephrase or make a statement let them know I have heard them.

Through being committed to rethinking, I can then manage my emotions as I talk with the person to help me benefit from hearing their knowledge and strengths. This supports my growth and their growth, and this helps us build our relationship.

Be willing to invest in the other person and be available to assist or support them.

I know that I am willing to help and support others when they are willing to do the same. I do accept that I can be the first person to offer assistance when a demanding situation occurs for my friend. When I help my friend then I often learn something that helps me in a challenging situation. I do know being empathetic has powerful benefits for both of us.

By shifting to help first, it shifts the focus from things I may be concerned about and builds a greater connection with the other person, or it strengthens an already existing connection. I have learned when I help then they are often open to helping me.

I have realized that helping breaks the cycle of self-absorption and leads to understanding. I feel better about myself, and my friend feels better about themselves, since they are not alone attempting to determine options and solutions for their difficult situation.

Viewing mistakes as something I mistook

Rather than focusing on how I could make such a mistake, I can breathe, pause, process my feelings and then consider what I missed or how I mistook things about the situation. It is a lot easier to consider things I need to change when I manage my feelings, thoughts and then I can focus on the next right action to take.

By doing what I have described, I lessen the emotional tension of the situation, and my perspective dramatically changes, since I gain clarity about what is happening. I do not make the mistake of misjudging something.

I have been through many experiences with friends where we end up with solutions that would not have come about, if we had not processed through our feelings and thoughts together. We find options that we may not have thought about by ourselves. I believe I must make the changes to invest in the discussion rather than hanging onto a judgmental attitude. These experiences build a strong bridge between us. We can both experience the emotional impact of working through something with each other, build and strengthen our relationship.